I have made an important discovery! What I have discovered is that by schmushing and mashing and squidg-ing things together you can make a real life cake!
It's amazing. Unfortunately I can't show you my Banana Schmush Cake because it is now hiding in my tummy, but you can make your own.
This cake doesn't have any sugar in it, because sugar once made me put a bag on my head and run into a wall. It wasn't my fault, it was sugar's fault.
Get a tame grown up to put the oven on at 180 and melt the butter, then grease and line a loaf tin.
First get 4 big bananas, really mucky squishy ones with brown bits, obviously PEEL THEM FIRST, silly pants, then squidge them with your hands or a masher in a big bowl. Lumpy bits are good.
Break 2 big eggs into a jug, pop the yolks with a fork, mix them up, then get really mucky by pouring and squidging them into the banana schmush.
Add 75g of melted butter to the schmush and slop it about, now it's getting really messy.
Now make it snow by sieving in 115g of self raising flour and a teaspoon of cinnamon over the top. Mix and schmush again. The kitchen should be pretty much coated in this stuff by now.
Finally throw in fistfuls of sultanas. Depending on how big your fists are, around 4 grown up's handfuls. Give it a final mix.
Now pour it all over the place, but mostly into the tin. Get your tame grown up to put it in the oven for around 45 mins, or until a skewer comes out clean.
Eat as soon as it's cool enough. Ask for seconds because it's got no sugar in it, so it's practically a vegetable. TA DA!